cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
No more Irish car bombs ever.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
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