So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
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