The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Randomize
