The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize
