Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
They took my balls.
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Randomize
