omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
Randomize
