He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
Let's get the cat blown out
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
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