Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
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