They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
She bit a glass in half.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
Randomize
