It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
Randomize
