those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Randomize
