he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
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