I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
Randomize
