i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
Randomize
