I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize
