i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Randomize
