Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
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