youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
Randomize
