I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
What did we do last night that was yellow?
Heard at work: Get out of my face before I cuntpunch you so hard your granddaughters have miscarriages. I love my job.
I'm moving there. Get me hired.
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Randomize
