Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
I have so many feelings about this burrito
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
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