If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
