he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
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