We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
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