Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
Randomize
