imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
Randomize
