i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
i think i have herpe
just one?
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
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