well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
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