maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
Randomize
