what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize
