Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
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