YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
I can't trust your balls anymore.
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
Randomize
