Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize
