sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
Randomize
