Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
Randomize
