I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Randomize
