I think im going to throw up on grandma
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
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