How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
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