Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
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