So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
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