Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
that is very illegal...i love you.
Randomize
