My hand turned me down
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
Never joke about your clitoris.
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
Randomize
