Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
Randomize
