This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
Randomize
