Buhtt sex?
im having a threesome with these popsicles
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Randomize
