normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
I just found a bag of teeth...
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
Randomize
