i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
Randomize
