It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
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