Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
Randomize
