Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
Randomize
