i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
