how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
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