"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
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